Monday, June 2, 2014

Colton pics

Because he is just so deliciously cute and irresistible!

Brenten and sunscreen

Brenten has the most fun with any aerosol can he can find.  He figured out that the funnest thing to do is hold it upside down and push down onto the button.
This is very effective is discharging every hairspray, shaving cream, or cooking oil bottle of its contents. 
Everything was fun and games until he managed to shoot waterproof/sweatproof sun screen into his eyes.  Which led to a majorly painful meltdown. 

I had to wrap him in a towel and hold his eyes under the sink faucet.  Rinse with saline, wipe what came out and repeat.  Now he is happy and looks like he has smoked the biggest bowl of his life.

Crazy kid.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Colton's Birth Story

     Thank you for wanting to share in our amazing experience of Colton's entrance to this world.  It will forever be one of the most spiritually profound experiences of my life.  I ask that before you read our story that you pray for a tender heart to feel the depth of my story where my words may lack.  Also if you have or would like to find the following artist and/or songs to play while reading, they were a part of my delivery music.
Artist: My Sister
Songs: Lord I would follow thee, Nearer my God to thee, I am a Child of God, I know that my Redeemer lives, Abide with me tis' eventide, Love at home, Ilonga ha Taha, Each life that touches ours for good.
     This group gives a very soothing rendition of these songs.  Because of the memory they are connected with it is important I share them with you and encourage their accompaniment to the story.
     Colton was a new addition we were excited for from day one.  His older brother Brenten set the path for how different we wanted to treat this pregnancy and delivery.  After my first pregnancy which included a 70 lb weight gain, 38 hours of hard labor, 4 hours of pushing, and nearly every intervention at medical disposal, I wanted a more connected and spiritual experience this time around.
     After the success our friends H&M had with the Bradley Method, we decided to follow in their footsteps.  We enrolled with the same wonderful instructor, Dora Baldwin, who taught me more than I could have imagined and helped me fully realize my vision of being a strong, healthy, and informed soon to be mother (again).  During our classes an idea that had never occurred to me was introduced, home birth.  After a considerable amount of research and prayer we decided that in lieu of the military provided hospital delivery we wanted a home birth with the midwife we eventually fell in love with..."Mama Selena" Green. (I'm Active Duty and required to either deliver at the military hospital or pay full out of pocket costs to anywhere else for medical services)
     She was everything we had hoped for!  Our birthing team included CPM Selena Green, CPM in training Summer, Douala Grace, my husband, mother, BFF H, and aunty and uncle M.  I had all the love and support a person could be blessed with!
     The months flew by until I was finally "within range".  I had been puttering in my labor for weeks and the constant start and stops had us on our toes!  On Thursday September 12th, I had my final appointment at Trippler Army Medical Center (TAMC).  The medical staff confirmed that baby was head down, that I was dilated to a two, and the cervix was mostly thinned.  Whenever labor decided to kick into gear, everything would go quick.  Quick...That was the understatement of a lifetime.
      Early in the morning on Saturday September 14th I was restlessly sleeping between contractions.  Were they an hour apart?  Five minutes?  I had no idea since it was now the norm to start and then stop.   By about the 7th contraction and the pain hitting a 5 out of 10, I realized this could be it and should start timing them.  Three contractions later, they were 7 minutes apart.  I just knew this was it and that It was time to wake everyone. 
     At 0630 I woke Kyle and asked him to call the team.  Since my first baby took so long, I thought 12 hours would be "quick" and told the team not to rush.  I spent the time eating breakfast and breathing through each contraction while perched on my birthing ball.  I was calm, focused, and ready to meet my new baby.  I felt every bit as empowered as I had wanted and envisioned.
     Mama Selena, Summer, and Grace arrived at 0730.  They quietly circled the room setting up gear and checking baby and I's heartbeats and blood pressure.  I was then moved to the bed so the tub could be set up and to check my dilation.  At this point I felt to be between a 4-6 in dilation with a few more hours of labor to take on!  So you can imagine my core rocking shock when told that I was in fact...10 cm dilated and cervix was 100% effaced.  The team abandoned the tub and started moving all gear into the bedroom.  Then as the next contraction wrapped around my whole body, breaking my water and wringing me out like a sponge.  It was terrifying, electric, and for me...sickly enjoyable.
     "My water broke!  My water broke!"  Which was a useless thing to yell since everyone was within 10ft of me.  I endured two more bone crushing capable contractions and then suddenly had the urge to push.  "I'm ready to push" announcing as I rolled from my side to my back.  Opening my legs, ready to push, and two feet came surging out.  Mama Selena exclaimed she had feet and went to work doing what I've now learned is an art lost to nearly every doctor, delivering a breech, posterior baby.
     In order to ensure the baby came out without breaking his arms, she had to reach inside me (INSIDE ME!) and hold his arms down to his side.  Nine months of carrying a squirmy baby could not prepare me for the extreme sensation this produced  It's hard enough to push a baby out, but trying to do it while adult hands are pushing back inside makes this nearly impossible, or so I thought.  Each breath I tried to hold in order to push felt as if being punched from the inside, knocking the wind out of me.  She had me change positions from my back, to my hand and knees, my side, and each time helping ease baby Colton out.  Just when it all seemed impossible and that there was no way to endure, I nearly thought the unthinkable, "I can't". 
     Now for most people, "I can't" may not be a big deal, but growing up with my father "I can't" was not allowed in our vocabulary.  Difficult, impossible, challenging were all acceptable to use, but do not, DO not, DO NOT ever say "I can't".  So I didn't, he was depending on me and I couldn't fail him.  Pushing out his body plus two adult hands at the same time was the most excruciating experience of my life.  I could feel us all in this together, my team, my baby, and I.  As we came down to just his head Mama Selena ordered me to push as hard as I could.  No slow pushing was allowed here and now.  It had to be fast, powerful, and contain strength beyond my own.  With every last fragment of strength, hope and determination, I bore down.  In less than 15 minutes Colton was born at 0830, Saturday September 14th 2013 weighing 7lbs, 9oz, and 21".
     He was out, but was blue and refused to breath.  They had a heartbeat and started CPR while an assistant called for help.  I could hear my mother and husband crying.  I could hear praying in both English and Hawaiian.  All the while my midwife was set on preserving my son in what were obviously skilled and experienced hands.  I talked to Colton.  I told him how much I loved him and ordered him to breath.  He gasped, I cried.  Over and over he would gasp, but couldn't get the remaining fluid out.  He was going to live and knew it.  In what felt like a lifetime later, paramedics arrived.
     They took my new angel and husband and left for Waianae Comprehensive Medical.  Once his lungs were cleared, he screamed, fought, and of course peed on everyone within range (dad was so proud).  After he was stable they transported him to Kapiolani Hospital where he stayed for two days for observation in the NICU.  (I'll elaborate more about that part another time).
     I spent the next two days replaying every moment of his delivery.  I was of course sad that he couldn't be home, but had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for his delivery.  Some may try to use my story as a reason not to do a home delivery, but even if we had always planned on delivering at TAMC, we would never have made it in time.  Because of construction and the speed of his delivery, any attempt at going to the hospital would have resulted in a roadside delivery.  Since most doctors have no idea how to deliver a breech baby, it's safe to say that any responding police or paramedics would have had no idea what to do and would most likely have resulted in Colton's loss.
     Given the options again, I still would make the same choice.  From time to time I consider the price someone pays to know God.  For all my LDS brothers and sisters, we are very familiar with pioneer stories and the plight they endured.  When asked about their decision to cross the plains and mountains, enduring all they did, not one would give up the knowledge and experience they earned to know God.  Kyle's cousin who also did a home birth described her experience "as if enduring with the Savior in the garden of Gethsemane".  No matter what your religious or spiritual stance there is something deeply profound about taking ownership over your babies journey and your bodies transformation.  To willingly give up any piece of your pregnancy or delivery is to sacrifice a remarkable gift.
     Colton Kekoaponookeakuaonalani Frost Carlson was given his name through collaboration between Uncle, Auntie and Kyle.  It was certainly not what we originally planned on naming him and although each child is a miracle, not every miracle happens twice.  During his delivery the presence of our grandfathers, Urban Frost Brown and Ivan Carlson were strongly felt and imprinted on our hearts.  We grew to know our Father in ways I still don't fully grasp or understand.  He is so strong and deserved a name that honored his journey.  Translated, Kekoaponookeakuaonalani is Righteous warrior of the God of the Heavens.
     At 5 weeks old, he is weighing 9lbs, 5 oz and is 22.5" long.  He loves to be cuddled and is sporting redder hair and bluer eyes everyday.  It has me very concerned and brings back many memories of the red headed fanatic I grew up with.  If Colton is even half as fun as him, I'll be twice as in love.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

I used to like....

My favorite foods have now started to go the way of the dodo, yum...dodo burgers. Anyways, I've discovered as time goes forward with the pregnancy that although i'm still not sick, there are definitly some favorites that are no more. For one, Zuccini. I loved that stuff, now it taste's so repulsive, along with jalapeno's. I wonder when those things will come back into my life. In the mean time, anything with plenty of fat, carbs, or sweets is definitly in my liking. In turn however that does nothing good for my waist line this early. If you've got any tips on how to slow that process down a tad, i'm all ears.
I've been going though alphabet on bra sizes and am offically up to a D. I thought i'd be lucky to hit a C in my lifetime, now i'm a D. What the heck comes after a D? and if my twins have already ballooned to this size, what will happen by the time I deliver? I'm begining to understand why some chesty women have named thier mammories. I get so mad at them for all the pain, but just stand there and stammer like a parent trying to yell at thier red headed step children (sorry matt, no stab at you. lol). Its like streaming through the rolodex of all the names you've ever yelled in anger, but can't land on the right one. So in addition to all the pain they cause, they also mock me for my lack of ability to properly chastize them. Stupid boobs.
Speaking of things behind the learning curve, Kovi (our dog) has decided that peeing every time Kyle looks at him crosseyed is his new "thing". Kovi was doing so well with potty training, and he has no issues with me, but Kyle...yeah, he pees. Everytime. Also, we've been using the new cleaner from Melaleuca and it's awesome on glass. So awesome in fact, neither Kovi or Hyde (the neighbor dog) can tell if the glass door is open or closed. It's like living in one of those commercials and they walk into the glass door. Only in this case its always an excited full sprint to play in the back yard. With so many head injuries, these dogs are turning out to be a sandwhich short of a picnic. I think I just discovered Kovi's peeing problem though.
Despite becoming Kovi's new pee post, Kyle has been doing great. He's handled my emotional outbursts very well. Everything from a complete meltdown about feeling fat and yucky to nearly verbally murdering him because there are socks not put away. Being pregnant may give you a free pass to be crazy with a capitol Z, but most often then not, most of those outbursts are not in your control and not the ones you want at that moment. So instead of being mad, loud, and overbearing at the moment you want to tell off that jerk. You turn into a blumbering idiot of teary mush. Crying, why are you so mean? I'm pregnant! The cool thing however is if the latter happens, in a room of strangers you automatically win and the other person looks like a big fat jerk. Yeah...roadhouse! (sorry Kyle and I have been on this family guy episode kick all week).
This week the raspberry has grown to a green olive and on the 26th of the month we get to hear the baby's heartbeat. We are very excited! Again, I still have no sickness and with a few foods I now don't like, there is still not much I won't inhale. Well in the time it's taken me to write this blog, it's now time for my next meal. num, num, num...

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Working my way out of seeds and into the food chain

My poppyseed has officially leaped to the size of a blueberry! Despite how little it still is, food is still my all encompasing thought. Along with copious amounts of sleep, I simply cannot get enough...yawn... I'm enjoying my new pregnant body and all the changes that keep coming. I've realized that being hungry, even for a moment is not an option. When the "feeling" to eat hits, I have about 30min before food better be in my mouth or someone needs to sacrifice a limb. Because pregnancy hunger pains are horrible.

One of my many blessings has been an absence of illness. So far no urge to purge the contents of my stomach every hour. This little baby has made it perfectly clear that like his Mama, there isn't much it won't eat! Case in point, my office ordered Siam Thai (fantastic food!). I ordered the Peanut shrimp curry, level two (medium). Thier scale is as follows, mild, medium, american spicy and thai spicy. I order a two thinking, okay two, medium, should be about right. Well in Siam thai land, Medium must mean "for stupid white girl who thinks she can eat thai food". I was crying, my face was bright red and was sweating bullets it was so HOT!!! Many co-workers laughed at my expense and cautioned me to stop eating. But it tasted soooo good I couldn't. Despite my mouths inability to handle the heat, my stomach did just fine. My Cheif is certain that my child will be able to eat lava.

This experience did start me thinking however that I need to learn how to have a much different relationship with food. For as good as my curry was going down, I'm sure It can't duplicate the experience in reverse. Not sure if it's worth my taste buds satisfaction to test some foods ability to completly incapacitate me.

In addition mood swings have been fun, as I'm sure Kyle can tell you. He has had first hand experience in my many bouts of insanity. One minute i'm telling him how he's going to kill the baby with every clothing item and stray hair product he leaves out and open. Next i'm crying hystarically because the dishes weren't done. To date the best has to be my inability to seperate my dreams from reality. So far, i've not only named my kid the wrong thing, but no one told me for days! Then, I had another one and it really freaked me out, but thank to prego hormones, I can't remember it. Consider it my blogs first technical difficulty.

To close my second blog I would like to shed some light on the miracle of my boobs, who knew they could get that big!?! Or hurt that much. As much as Kyle is enjoying the new view, he's been very disappointed to learn thier a "look but don't touch" item. Upon testing this theory, he nearly lost a limb, which I would have promptly eaten.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Poppyseed in the oven

Poppyseed in the oven. Or at least thats what the book (what to expect when your expecting) is telling me my baby is the size of. A poppyseed? Since knowing that, i havn't been able to enjoy my morning muffin. I keep imgining all those little poppies screaming out at once "don't eat me!" num-num-num. It says next week however it will be the size of an orange seed and I'm not sure yet how thats going to affect eating oranges. Why did my breakfast food all of a sudden have to become so deep? Can't I just eat my seeds in peace? sheesh.

As i'm ending my 4th week of pregnancy I must share how I broke the news to Kyle. Seeing as I had to learn while squating over the poopshoot and aiming into a cup, I saw no reason to make it anymore special for him. When he came home I demanded a foot rub.

Kyle "I don't think so."

Me "Yes, you promised."

Kyle "When did I promise you a foot rub today."

Me " You promised me a footrub everday that I am pregnant, and your three weeks behind."

Kyle "Aaaaaaghhhhhhhh" - like a girl. No seriously, he was very excited and was then showering me with lots of hugs and kisses and "are you serious?". No kyle I make this s*** up everyday, yes i'm pregnant.

Once the initial shock wore off we called our parents. This is not the first grandkid for his folks, so they were excited, but not quite like mine. You see this will be thier FIRST grandkid, so when I skyped my mom and told her, she really did scream like a twelve year old girl at a twilight premere when Jacob takes his shirt off. She then ran upstairs and I was left with an empty camera view. But soon she returned with the family in tow. They are all very excited and can't wait!

Kyle has been doing a great job dealing with my new schedule of wanting frequent naps and eating every 2-3 hours. I am glad I found out when I did because I thought death was upon me. Usually my bike ride to and from work is no problem, but all of a sudden a few miles felt like 10. My bike went to the shop 3x because I was sure there was a problem with it. "No bike problem!" the little oriental lady who sold me it at Eki would shout. She was right, no bike problem, I have a poppyseed problem.

Speaking of which in reading "What to expect" it says that right now this little thing is building its beginner organs and "layers". This requires oxygen and lots of other stuff my body has. It is syphining the important stuff I used to use for it to grow. In short, its sucking the life out of me. Or really into me, since it's pretty centralized, it's a sucking from the inside out. What's the opposite of aliens when it blows out of the guys gut? Yeah it's like that and it's only suppose to get worse, until it does finally end like aliens. Beautiful process huh?

Really though it's been a fun, nerve racking, sentimental experiece. So far no food cravings, I just want to eat EVERYTHING! Thankfully i'm going to continue with my Triathalon training, so I really can eat most everything. I can't say i'm fully continuing with my training, but i'll at least maintain where I am. Depending on how my body is doing I still plan on participating in the sprint triathalon. Which is in September and much shorter than a full Tri. If I don't feel up to that i'll attempt the super sprint tri. Of course my baby is more important than anything else, so i'll err on the furthest side of caution.

I'm really excited for all this new life has to bring me. A new husband, a baby on the way and many career decisions to be made for both Kyle and I. We hate to leave Hawaii, but with a new one on the way, it would be nice to be closer to family. Until next time friends and family (F&F), watch out for those seeds.